Love Like Morons

 Let us Love like morons
Feasting hurriedly on this passion
Before the heartbreak of Sunset
Love is not too big a risk
If lack of it is the alternative there is

Hey
Don't feel silly
Don't be shy
Only fools can Love genuinely
Others, with all their might, may only try
Eventually, perhaps, they'll laugh,
And maybe you'll regret a little or cry
But a laugh though loud will cease
And tears before dawn, surely will dry

So, come, my love
Let us Love like children,
playing in the sands and the rains
Of possibilities
Let us love fervently
Through differences and offences
Enjoying lavishly all the beauty
And pleasure there is to gain

Let us,
Before the troubles, heartaches
And enemies of glee awake
Launch far from the reach
of fear and wisdom
For wise men can't love, my dear
So, come now
Let us love how we must

Let us Love like homeless, helpless, morons!

Merciless!

 Why do you torment me
Ravaging my attention
With the poise of your lips
And with colours, contours and motions
that sink my composure
Look at the blush on your cheeks
And the brilliance of your smile
Whisperings, things only my heart can hear
From millions of miles away
My doom is clear,
Your dimples have made my ruin complete
There is certainly no hope for me now, my dear

Where did you forge your sword
How did you craft your spears
When did you stretch your arm
Tell me, please
Why do you thrust so deep
While we yet speak
Why is your beauty so pure and merciless
When my poor defenseless soul already submits
Now I must desire you, or nothing else
Oh! Look how hopeless I have become

My dear, tell me
Why did you do this
Why have you done this absolutely beautiful thing to me

A Penny for Your Friend

"Bro, that person is not your friend"

"An acquaintance, maybe, but definitely not your friend." 

That was the response I got after my narration. And perhaps, that was all I needed to fix up.

I needed to face the truth, head on. I love friendships. But, las las, all friend no be friend. It is what it is!

The term "friend" these days refers to many sorts of relationships. Many, quite unworthy of the title in its true sense.

Because, the truth is, genuine friendship has significant cost implications (time, inconvenience, clear communication,  commitment, vulnerability, accountability, thoughtfulness and empathy, emotional and material sacrifices).

Not all "friends" signed up for these, really.

What some people truly seek is a convenient association, an activity partner, a standby companion, an on-call helper, a social buddy, a friendly colleague or jovial acquaintance, etc. And you can't really blame them for wanting what they want.

So, don't be too quick to set up friendship expectations purely based upon your own idealisation. Don't be too hard on people, and on yourself. Be careful to resist the urge of assuming that your idea of the "friendship" is the same as the other party's, to avoid 'friendship frustration'.

If you are a friendship lover, like me, your heart may make this a little hard. But try. If you pay attention enough, you can eventually realise the proper definition of what exists between you guys, and you can intentionally adjust your expectations or investments accordingly.

It may be a little heartbreaking or disappointing, but nobody will die! Rather, you will be better guided and definitely less stressed. You will be alright, las las.

Life is complex enough. Friendship should make it easier, right?

 Happy Friendship-ing!

Love At Third Sight

There was this girl I knew when I was a lot younger. Smart child. Fun fo be with. Nice family. I honestly didn't know a lot of these things about her initially. I knew her name though, and she knew mine, I'm sure. Our parents had stuff to do together. But we hardly even spoke. We just knew ourselves from afar. And we were basically kids then. If play did not bring us within the same space, probably nothing else would. That was then.

Some years later. My brother somehow happened to get more familiar with her and her family and that eventually led to me establishing a rapport with her too. For a brief period I became something like a big brother. She had just rounded off secondary school (high school) and was planning for Uni. I was already in Uni, so there was a lot to talk about (And,as you probably already know, I like to talk), and she liked it. We would sit in at our house and gist a lot. We hung out once or twice. Had some really cool moments. I also attended one or two of their family events. Good times. But holiday was over, I had to go back to school. She had to start Uni. Life happened.

But not immediately. I got back to school feeling like I liked her. I remember my roommate and flatmates teasing me a couple of times then. They were certain I had 'caught' something which I returned with to school. According to them something was making me happy and it definitely had something to do with my summer break in Nigeria and that picture I recently placed on my corner of the wall of my small room. (Yes o, I put up her picture. Nope, she never knew about it). While I wouldn't admit that they were right, I couldn't deny I liked the idea of having her around and in my thoughts. At least for a while. Although I had tried a lot to convince myself that "we're family friends." " she's just like the younger sister I didn't have." "I'm just very proud of her." My roommate wasn't buying it. And frankly, I can't say I was totally convinced myself. But that phase didn't last forever. Like I said, life happened and for many years we basically went out of touch.

I had returned Nigeria after Uni. Our parents weren't quite in the same space anymore. She was in a different city, studying. I did NYSC, travelled for my masters. Returned. Started working. Many years went by. I honestly didn't quite have her on my mind anymore (nor was I having any girl other on my mind). Everyone was dealing with life, trying to make progress and secure a good future. I had now been in some relationships that didn't work out. I think I had also heard something about her being in a serious relationship that was about to lead to marriage, or so. Well, Time passed sha.

Then recently (I won't tell you how recently lol) my brother sent me her number to contact her regarding some information my family needed. She seemed in a position to help. I called. We talked a bit, but mostly about the matter for which my brother passed me her number. It wasn't very convenient to talk well so agreed to defer the talk to a better time. A few days passed. Then suddenly, and very coincidentally, our paths crossed again.

One fine morning. I was about to take a commercial vehicle. As I walked closer, someone called out my name; the name I was known by as a child. Ghen ghen! I was pleasantly surprised. It was her! We were about to get into the same vehicle. She was dressed very very simply and casually. Yet looked so good. At least to me. She sounded quite welcoming, lively and happy to see me too. We hugged. She quickly introduced me to her aunt who was with her. It felt so good to see her again. Wow! It's been ages! Mehn..."why does this feel so good?" I probed within myself. It didn't take too many minutes and I already felt like something was happening to my system. Something had sprung to life in me. She still sounds so jovial, so smart and so herself. She still likes my gisting. She still has quite a good memory of the past. She's still a lot of what I used to like about her. I like this girl! Lord is this a sign? Is this love at third sight?

I quickly sent my brother a text, telling him who I'd just met and how it felt good seeing her. He replied with 'haha' and a smiley. I know what that means. That's like "all the best bro" or "don't forget to give me update o". Anyways, she had no clue what was happening. We just gisting and kept rying to catch up while on the trip. Although I had become a lot calmer within me by the end of the trip, it definitely wasn't the end of what was happening inside of me. There was something about this girl that had me latched on so fast, well and joyfully. I'm liking her. I'm wanting to rebuild our once-upon-a-time fondness. Lord, is this your handiwork? Did you just mercifully set this up to help my 'ministry' ? ('Cos I was starting to lose energy for this whole relationship thing o). Mehn... Lord, "shall we pursue...?" I need You to help me here o, I prayed that same evening. Very seriously. I cannot afford to 'jones' mehn.

Obviously she isn't married yet so there's still a good chance, right? But what if she's engaged already, or in a very serious relationship? What if she still likes me, but not quite that way? What if she's just being very nice and welcoming as a person or for old times sake? Many thoughts rushed through my head as I contemplated how best to proceed with her. Maybe just try and stay friends for now? Won't it be time wasting, since she's an adult now and seemingly very ripe for something serious and long term (marriage)? What if some sharper guy grabs her while I'm still trying to just be friends first? Lord, help me here manhn. I didn't stop praying.

To cut the story short, we've had some really long phone calls. We've hung out once already and it went quite well. We stayed out quite late and still gisted outside her house for a while before we finally called it a night. We've also talked about some past events and including some past relationships. I've learnt a bit more about her now. And I still like her a lot. I want to keep this going. I want to keep talking, hang out some more and get closer. But now she's in another relationship. So, this young man is in a tricky place.

Is it still okay to keep pushing for this closeness I so much desire? Should I just tell her how I feel asap and leave the ball in her court? Would that be fair? Should I just be a friend and communicate the "I really like you and want something more" in other non-verbal ways?

The Bible says "In the multitude of counsel, there is safety."

So what's your counsel?

Penitent's Plea

No Retreat. No reparation
This is not that kind of sin
To request forgiveness is
To thrust some more in
The knife that pierced her skin

I'm sorry Father
For the hurt my thoughts might bring
A tender innocent soul
That does surely not deserve
The lust my depths conceal

To ask for mercy is luxury
I know I even remotely can't afford
Just grant me you will
Catch her precious heart
When I miss my step and fall