ANTICLOCKWISE

My recent musings have tended much towards the famous cause and effect principle- that tells that every event is an effect of another and a cause of another. It still makes sense.

Today sure is an effect of yesterday and will be the cause of tomorrow (the future).  Undisputed!

But my mind wouldn’t accept that as the whole story. With respect to the relationship of past, present and future, I have a different opinion concerning the popular ‘cause and effect’ theory.

I believe it’s not simply true that the past causes/caused the present while the future will in the same way be an effect of the past and present. It’s not as simple as that.  Rather, it is an interaction between future and present.

My Point is; the future is also a cause of the present and past not simply an effect. Yes, THE PRESENT AND PAST ARE CAUSED BY THE FUTURE. THE PRESENT AND PAST CAN BE SEEN AS AN EFFECT OF THE FUTURE.

Ok, I shall now try to, in the following paragraphs, put what I’m trying to say in more practical, easy-to-relate-with, everyday-life terms. And in the process, you may realize how I came about this school of thought.

Try trying to ignore the idea of a future that lies ahead and probe the necessity, purpose and sense in almost everything you do or are presently involved in. For example, why are you in school or pursuing some form of education despite having a fairly exciting and freedom-flavoured youthful student life? Why do you bother being nice and sociable to the world around you when it’s actually not a hobby of yours (It’s more convenient otherwise)?

Look around you, check every single thing you do every day and try and detach it from the concept of a ‘future’ which is seemingly instinctively embedded into our consciousness.  Almost everything we do in the present or was done in the past would be senseless and pointless if they are (and actually can be) judged without reference to the future.You see, the past and present are influenced by the knowledge of the existence of a future and its nature. In that sense, it is arguable that we’re all victims of the future. Understandable!

But we could also become victims of the future when it is used against us by others.  When “the future“ becomes a weapon, and one we often can’t contend with when held by a skillful man. Held in the heart and never put down. It hurts…It kills...when people do stuff because of their idea and analysis of the probable outcome. The ‘what is the worst that could happen’ determines their ‘what can I get away with?’

It’s like solving an equation backwards. It’s like solving a problem from the solution. First flipping to the end of a novel and reading the rest of it with knowledge of the eventual end. It’s like a clock ticking backwards...ANTICLOCKWISE!

NB:
This is one of my very old write-ups (written about a year and half ago). Just saw it and thought I post it instead of infinitely waiting for when I'll feel like polishing and editing it to my satisfaction. So there it is..raw as then thought!

The Anology

Mark recently got admission to study overseas. Mark wasn’t too sure what the new experience would be like but he knew he had to go so chose to be optimistic. He unpacked and he hoped for the best. But its been two weeks since he arrived the country and university and is still yet to get into full swing with his classes and studies. He is both six hours away and ahead from home with respect to his new location on grid. Jetlag is something that must be overcome for him to adjust, but that’s only a small fraction of the cause of his late nights and absenteeism for almost all morning classes.

He was happy for the privilege to escape the extremely poor educational system in his country which most of his home friends would have to scale through. He was Christian and being the very jovial and outgoing guy he’d been since high school, he had a lot of pals back there which he couldn’t afford to lose touch with so soon. Keeping touch, however, wasn’t a big problem ‘cos he was a Facebook and twitter ‘lover’.

One day, while having his TAWG (devotion) after waking up as late as usual, he crossed a familiar scripture. This time, it got him thinking more than ever before.  “if anyone be in Christ he is a new creature. The old has gone, the new has come (1Thes 5:17).” He had, a few minutes ago, read something related that “…our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might no longer be slaves to sin. (Rom 6:6)”. And not far from that, he saw also “You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. “ He put down his bible for a while and thought. Is this for real? He had questions. He had questions if what he read was meant to be true.

So why do we still like doing stuff we are not meant to? Why does sin still appeal to our senses? Why do so many people I know who have come to or are “in” Christ still struggle so much not to sin? Why don’t the, alcoholics, sex addicts and club-lovers I know who are supposedly now ‘born again’ still find it hard to quit? He wondered. He needed answers, for himself too, he had his own struggles too.

“Set free”?  What exactly does that mean? Why do we atimes not really feel “free,” different, “new,” and separate? What does it really mean? What is wrong? He needed answers. There must be answers. “Lord, I need to understand,” he said softly, with his head bowed.

The answers didn’t come when and how he would have expected it but it came.

Another week passed. Not long, he had his first class test. He failed.

He was very discouraged but summoned some courage to stay up as usual and say hi to his friends before he slept. That night, after spending some time with his pals online, he remembered he had a pastor in his list of friends whom he could ask the questions he had about that passage he had earlier read so he went on to say “Hi” to the his pastor friend. However, before he could ask his question, the pastor asked him how he was doing with his academics. His reply was “not so good”. When asked why, he explained what his experience to the pastor.

Mark had attempted to attend a number of morning lectures but didn’t go through the entire hour with his eyes open for most of them. He could hardly understand the accent of his classmates who were mostly locals but it wouldn’t have mattered much to him if he could at least understand his lecturers. Mark knew how to work alone; he was a very good student back at home. He was studying on his own in his room – at least he didn’t misunderstand the accent of his text books and lecture notes because they had none. He wanted to make good grades but even the academic system was different. He found the students antisocial and the lecturers boring. That was also how he described his new environment to his numerous friends over the internet.

He finished explaining-cum-complaining and there was a brief pause, the pastor didn’t respond for a while. So he went on “I have a question.” But before he could ask, the pastor replied “I think I have an answer.” He was sure the pastor did not know what he was about to ask but he waited; the chat pane was indicating that the person on the other end was still typing. “You have to concentrate, Mark” the pastor typed. “I just calculated the time difference. It must be 2:30 am over there. Right?” Mark replied and the pastor continued.“You see, you are now in a different environment. You much realize that. I see you online pretty often around this time and I guess it’s because of your friends here. I’m always online at this time too ‘cos that’s when I’m on my desk and I like to be available for anyone who has issues to talk to me about or needs to contact me. But I’m not you. You’re not us, Mark.”  Mark took a deep breath and continued listening. “You’re in a new world there but you have to play your part too.”

Before the end of the conversation, Mark indeed had got a stir to step up on his efforts to blend into the 'new world.' But he got more than that. He felt he had also got the answer to the question he actually wanted to ask.

That was it! And he now better understood those scriptures too!

NB:

This is one of my very old write-ups (written about a year and half ago). Just saw it and thought I post it instead of infinitely waiting for when I'll feel like polishing and editing it to my satisfaction. So there it is..raw as then thought!

Is That It?

Is that it?

Is that the love?

‘Chemistry’ of mounting emotions on a down curve?

Is that the love?

Words too good; too true

Kisses too sweet,

Touching

too soothing; surface seeking

Body pleasing, always needing

More, more, deeper, better

Never ceasing

To be unsatisfied is the satisfaction

Is it?

Is that it?

But he truly loves me and she, she truly wants me

There, up, down somewhere, always around.

I mean, It was meant to be,

I feel

Something, that thing

I feel different, special,

Care, something down here

I feel we are meant for each other, you know

“Meant to be together”

For real

I , I feel…

Bound?

Nothing really?

Is that the love?

On the bed, ok maybe not

On the couch,

Out on the beach

Holding hands walking the street

The movies,  cuddling

The woods, the field

The company, the gifts

The airtime evaporating;

Terminal to terminal.

The perfection

That has never promised to stay

The ‘is’ longing to become ‘was’

Is that it?

Is that the love?

You, give your passion and being ?

Is that what you trade His temple for?

Is that what you give in return for a life ended with thorns, excruciating pain and nails on the cross

The love shown to us

Is that the reason why your heart can’t fully be His?

Is that why he cries for you and keeps reaching for your heart?

Is that why you keep holding back?

Is that fair?

Isn’t that what the wise Teacher-king called meaningless?

“I denied my self nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure…and everything was meaningless, a chasing of the wind; nothing was gained under the sun”

Is that it?

Is that the love?

You give your passion and being ?

Is that what you trade My temple for?

Is that what you give in return for a life ended with thorns, excruciating pain and nails on the cross

Is that the reason why your heart can’t fully be Mine?

Is that why I cry for you and keep reaching for your heart

Is that why you keep holding back?

I love you and gave my life

To save you, to show you

I still love you, more love than you can ever give or find

“Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us”

So my heart aches for what you have now called love.

But I shall be here waiting.

I shall keep knocking.

Waiting,

For you to step out

Into my arms, fully

With your whole heart.

Why would you want to hurt me one more time?

Why won’t you just let go now, and come?

Just come!

That is it!

NB:

This is one of my very old write-ups (written about a year and half ago). Just saw it and thought I post it instead of infinitely waiting for when I'll feel like polishing and editing it to my satisfaction. So there it is..raw as then though!