OK...I am jonesing again!

I can’t sing you that song I wrote you ‘cos I’m still not sure I’ve got the right lyrics, tune and voice for it
I can’t say “I love you” cos its now cliché and...
I can’t say I know you very well; which should actually come first.
I can’t be too caring and nice cos I can’t risk being misinterpreted for an unveiling disguise.
I can’t see through your eyes but I’ld love to know how I appear to you; but I can’t.
I can’t be too direct with my words cos this way I hide my cowardice, get stuff off my chest and get compliment for poetry at the same time. Ha ha…
Yeah, I can’t help staring at you when you’re excited and making those bold expressions on your face
I can’t deny that you’re really (really) beautiful…and your smile is just so charming and adorable
And I can’t pretend not to know how desired you are by many and how blessed ‘the one’ would be and feel to have you.
And forgive me…I can’t stop finding you amazing, cos you really are; you’ve got that rare ‘something’!

But hey, I’m not such a loser…there are certain things I can do;
I can keep simple promises like “I’ll buy you lunch” and “I’ll pray for you”
I can understand if, somehow, we never go dancing, for whatever reasons…it’s ok, we could just spend time talking ‘real’ stuff, picking on each other and playing
And yes, very importantly …I can say “I will kill you” in your own dialect (& I hope you’re totally scared now)
I can tell you the scarce truth when you need to hear it…yeah, I can be unnecessarily helpful sometimes
I can keep secrets.
I can keep you company while on our way on a short journey
I can guess you will never read this if I don’t show you but that’s ok….cos
I can live with you not knowing these

Please don’t mind how I just put words and ideas together and make a post, “that’s just how I roll”. This time I just felt like doing it this way and hey, I still think you are amazing! And I hope this sincere note makes you smile (at least for a second).

GT

The Lamb and The Labyrinth

Predictable people are easier to work with. Unpredictable people are more interesting to be with. But most people are a confluence of both and one's inability to be certain of the instantaneous degree of predictability of another individual is often the twist in the incomprehensibility of people's attitude.

If the above statement sounds complex to you it only does because of the complexity of the subject -generic human behavior reflection in trends of non-linear relationship and interpersonal interaction issues - which would hardly fail to reflect itself in text about the subject, if well expressed. [to be continued]

Oversincerity & my day!

There is such a thing as oversincerity. And I feel bad whenever people remind me. By the way, today I learned It may be possible to control how much I let stuff people do or say hurt me simply by not reacting immediately and doing something important enough to get my mind off thinking of/pondering on how i feel. But I'm hoping the hurtful feeling has subsided for good and wouldn't return when I'm less busy or reminded of the event by something else said or done some other time. Usually, I would relieve myself of certain hurt by writing somewhere or saying something related to them (or the event that led to them) but I wanna learn to just let things go by building myself to be able to absorb and kill the hurt or pain without shedding it (or bits of it) off where eyes or ears can access - Maybe only to God. I wish me all the best as I try to keep putting efforts to reshape my life to cope better with reality and please God more.

Give me

Give me the right words and I'll write it in a poem.
Give me the right stage and I'll act it out boldly.
Give me the right tune and I'll sing it as a song.
Give me everything and I might forget your true value.
Give me nothing and I'll discover how much I really love you.

I Am Not Afraid

I am not afraid to 'lose' a battle which I wasn't fighting. And I am not a coward not to fight a fight whose victory is merely another form of defeat.

Unchanging

"I am YOUR friend" and YOU are probably the only one that wouldn't let my inconsistencies make YOU want to change those words. And that's why I find it so hard not to love YOU.

YOU are one - the only - thing I am sure would always be there, where you always were. And your words to me don't change when I do.

Help me to live with this consciousness that I may not expect too much from men.

Today I realized the true meaning of "unchanging love"

Thank You!

You taught me silence by letting me say it all
And taught me calmness by letting me do it all.
Now before another word I must weigh it all.
And before another move I'll replay it all.

You helped me to learn things I couldn't be taught
And led me to win fights I couldn't have fought.
So now I smile when I reminisce the hurt
'Cos now I see You were more to me than I had ever thought.

Thank You

I Loved You, GT!

You prayed for the change you felt you needed and it didn't come but you waited.
You were constantly reminded by people and events its necessity so you persisted.
Now after so long you feel it kicking and you are no longer sure how to receive it.
It's a strange feeling...now you're kinda reluctant to accept you would still need it.

I think I'm finally changing and I want to be excited but I'm missing me so badly already.
And if actually, you find me to be different or strange, I'm sorry. I hope you would still love me. If not, I hope a voice, somewhere in your heart will say "I loved you GT!".