So "GT, why the unusual tone”. I'll explain.
I once read a write up by a friend asking WHY DO GUYS TEND TO BE SO POSSESSIVE?!?!?!. I found it personally interesting especially for its wry humour knowing little that I might find need to ask something similar bout GIRLS sometime later. Anyways, I am writing this and saying all I shall be saying here because some experiences have driven me to that point where you choose to ease yourself by screaming out "What is this! I really can't take this anymore!!" like that would scare your 'adversaries' away. Well, maybe this may seem as just 'ginger' (a slightly aggressive way of expressing feelings which most times doesn't make significant contribution to the subject) like some would describe it. However, having been pretty much a girl-person, I find it most relevant at this point to pass a message to all who care to listen (read). But first, I would like to ask, pretty sincerely, WHY DO MOST GIRLS TEND TO BE SO?!?!?!.
Okay, I agree "?!?!?!" is pretty ambiguous so I have decided to specify a few aspects of what I mean.
CRYPTIC:
I don't seem to grasp why most girls are so unnecessarily secretive, slippery and difficult to understand. And, yes! They do it consciously. I have loads of female friends of whom I would be being too brave to claim to really know or understand. They always have things to 'keep out' from conversations and the entire need-to-know-each-other-better process. There is always too much "you shouldn't see", "you shouldn't know" and "don't worry/bother", "never mind" - if you are the outspoken type who will actually make open requests. And for things such as expressing emotions...I've had to do lots of work equivalent to a studying for a SAT exam just to decode how a girl feels about 'us’, a friendship or certain other issues. They will hardly ever speak out their feelings, it must be the guy. "He should be sensitive enough". "He should understand". "He should find out" (from where?). "He should know, somehow"...bla bla bla…as if guys are some detective dudes that must do all they can to get evidence from a mute witness-girls-who can’t just be expressive enough. Where on earth did they all even get that orientation from? "Nonsense to them!!!!" ['Ogembo' - Emmanuel Sogein]
INDECISIVE:
"What do girls want?" I don't know! So don't ask me! Don't even ask them 'cos they also don't know. Try and see. 'Cos I have...many guys have. Most girls want too much more than they need; even the mutually exclusive things. Of course they won't say them all at once but just keep listening. Just keep watching their cravings and 'decoding' (since that's what we must do to thrive with them) their highly encrypted responses and you'll realize. They can't seem to make up their mind easily between good and better. Sometimes I am tempted to see it as some complex shade of greed that keeps urging them to have them both- even if it means not admitting their preference of one over the other. And expectedly, this often costs more. Well, not always cash; emotions too. Okay, this is what I mean. She wants to be 'free' from mandatory commitments in a relationship but doesn’t mind getting the 'love' and company and all that can be got for free while the guy is still very optimistic. To ward off the expected 'plunge', she would need to keep demanding more patience tactfully enough not to sound a "NO!" that would snap him. However, to sustain the supply of attention she would have to keep close (frequently enough so as not to be gotten over) and perform periodic 'hope-raisers' to rejuvenate slacked sectors. But knowingly or unknowingly to her, this takes him up and down an emotional roller coaster while leaving him unable to resist another ride even after he may have vowed never to return. Pathetic! For goodness sake "If you are not free then pay the price of not being free!" [Pius Ile]
Another case is where she must finally choose one when she has more than one that fit. One feels very comfortable and would serve very well for now, considering her present daily schedule. The other is a better match for the dress she is intends to wear for the wedding which is a couple of months away. She knows she shouldn’t have them both and that the wedding is necessity and should be given clear and obvious priority but she also can't summon the courage to abandon the other which strongly appeals to her comfort. So she keeps both, knowing she wouldn’t have to pay the extra cost alone. In cases where the items involved are guys, the cost is again paid with emotions. The ' for now' guy would surely feel regret. Except, of course, he equally only bargained for that. And the ‘wedding’ guy wouldn’t feel too proud either if he found out.
This bid to 'eat your cake and have it' is surely not something whose outcome guys like me would find anything short of annoying. Especially when it involves people and when emotions are at stake. Can’t they just decide what they want?! I mean, just choose! 'haba!'
*Sorry, I need to go to bed so I'll stop here for now. If when I wake up I am still not sexist, I'll most probably continue in the same tone. Otherwise...I can't be sure what the rest of the write-up will read. Later!*
Hmmmm...I'm waiting to see the end of this story....lol....=)) =))
ReplyDeleteBuchi.......It's so plain that everything written here was borne out of personal experiences.....anywaiz hope u've gotten urself back 2geda(or r u still hopin???)......wen faced wiv such circumstances.........ask urself is she worth it?????....if she's not.....just tag along
ReplyDelete...Its cool and realistic...every guy must observe this at one point of his life,men! those babes must really be giving you a hard time for you to come up with stuff like this anywaystake it easy u`ll find that one exception so hold on and dont use these few experiences to judge the lot cos that`ll b the fallacy of hasty generalization!!...(remember GES 100),ok man,later!
ReplyDelete@Winnie: u sure will
ReplyDelete@Observer: You are partly right. Some of it, actually. but the instances weren't from my own experiences; other's. And guess what? the time i had to put myself together was sooo long ago; right now i'm as 'in-control' of things as you can imagine. Yes, one more thing, you are right about weighing the worth of the 'shes'...I've successfully done that too.
@D brown: Firstly, I'm so exited to know you actually dropped-by to read my stuff. And please there are some people who need to know that such is life & reality, like u said, and stop being too confident about themselves either 'cos they are yet to have such experiences or just too cowardly to admit them.
Abeg, thank you for reminding me about that special 'one' jor!...without such reminders one may be tempted to judge the world by what he sees around him.